The title of this post is ironic because I'm currently listening to You and I by Lady Gaga (LOVE). Lets just say I was inspired.
Last night my mom and I had a heart-to-heart. She started with, "I want to talk to you," and proceeded to, "You're probably not going to like what I have to say," which made me very nervous. Basically, she wanted to tell me about how worried she is for me. She's really scared that Bob is just playing me. That's what she honestly thinks. We discussed that matter for almost an hour and came to the conclusion that it all comes down to what he wants from me. If he sees us dating for real in the near future, I'll keep seeing him. It'll be worth it. But if he's changed his mind about that, or if he doesn't think he can move on soon, I don't want to waste my time anymore. So when he comes over tonight to hang out, I'm going to ask him. We're going to DTR (define the relationship). I'm kind of freaking out. Like, my heart is pounding and I feel queasy and I feel like I have to pee when I know I don't. But seriously, I'm going to just straight up ask him, "Do you still see us dating? Because I don't want to get too invested in and attached to you and end up getting hurt." I'm scared of what he'll say. Of course I want him to say, "I WANT YOU TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW." But I seriously doubt that will happen (a girl can dream, right?). I'm really expecting him to tell me there's no guarantee when he'll be over her. And I'll want to say something about him never being able to get over her if he keeps talking to her like he does, but it'll be hard to phrase that without sounding too pushy.
Also, he's going home for the first time next weekend for fall break. He'll be there for five days. Five. Days. And SHE'S there (*gives HER the evil eye and a devilish snarl*).
She's posted on his Facebook wall already about how she's planning something special for them to do. (*another evil eye*) I'm really, really nervous about that as well. He could go home and realize how much he still loves her and completely forget about me. He could go home and realize how much he doesn't miss her and tell her about me and that its really over between them. He could go home and do whatever he wants and I'll never know about it.
That's why tonight I'm DTRing. No need to stress over next weekend if...well, if there's no need.
