I'm freaking out.
My stomach is all in knots, I'm shaking, and I can't focus on studying for a theatre midterm I have today that is worth 25% of my grade. I told Bob that when we go to lunch today, I want to talk to him.
I'm so, so, so nervous. So I decided that, when in doubt, blog it out. Only its kind of hard to do that when my hands are shaking so hard I keep messing up and having to back space and fix everything...
Anyway. If he asks what's up while we're eating, I'm going to tell him I want to talk after we eat. Because I don't want to have this conversation in the middle of a cafeteria. When we find somewhere to sit down and talk, I'm going to say something along the lines of, "I just need to know what you want. Because lately I've been worried that you don't want to date me or you won't be ready to date me for a long time. Or that you're unknowingly using me to fill a void that appeared when you and your ex broke up." That's a lot to say. And being straight up with people and saying how I feel has always made me nervous. I'm less nervous to say it than I am to hear his response.
I'm afraid of rejection. Who isn't?
