I couldn't do. I couldn't ask him. I wimped out.
I hate myself right now so much. I was so set on it. I was walking down the hall and down the stairs trying to build up my confidence. But as I walked, I felt more and more nervous. I think my palms started sweating a little bit. And the closer I got to the ground floor and to seeing him and letting him in, the more clear it became in my mind that I wasn't going to ask him. And I thought about it the whole time he was in my room, but I couldn't think of how to bring it up. Of course, it would have been as easy as, "Can I ask you a serious question?" But I couldn't say it. Then I was wrapped up in his arms falling asleep and I just knew that it wasn't going to happen tonight.
I have not cancelled the DTR, I promise that. I just...postponed it. But it WILL happen before next weekend. It has to.
