Now Playing: Kina Grannis - In Your Arms
My life is one huge awkward moment right now.
I know I said I wasn't going to mention him again like this, but its necessary for my story. Zuko and I were getting along just fine, talking every day and being friends. Thats all. And I'm okay with that. Its better than nothing. Same with the friend that asked me out that I turned down (who is also an OL. Thats important to the story as well). We've just been friends and it hasn't been weird or anything.
So of course, life can't remain fair and clean like that. It gets messy and complicated for no reason. First of all, I think the guy that asked me out was telling people we were going to go out before he actually asked, because I've had two people on the team ask me about it. Which really kind of upsets me. I don't want people thinking something is going on when thats not true.
Then, at dance practice last night, I text Zuko back when we weren't doing anything for a minute, then one of the guys that is also on the dance committee picked up my phone later to be silly and saw that I had been texting Zuko. So he sent him a message saying something about "I love you baby" and "I go nuts when I see you" or something. So I of course freaked out (on the inside, because only one person on the team knows anything about me having feelings for Zuko before) and I quickly sent him a message that said it wasn't me who sent the previous one and I tried to laugh about it. I never got a text back last night. He didn't text me today. So I went to the meeting very nervous tonight. I smiled at Zuko but we didn't actually get to talk to each other.
So the meeting was uneventful. Until the last five minutes when the OC said he needed to have a talk with us. He basically gave a short speech about keeping relationships out of work and work out of relationships. He said that, though no one can stop dating from happening because they can't control anyone's emotions, they discourage it. And I couldn't help but feel like it got back to him that either something was going on with me and the guy that asked me out or something was going on with me and Zuko. Either one is embarrassing. I just really don't want people getting the wrong ideas about me, especially not my bosses. And then I thought, what if Zuko thinks that I've been telling people something is happening between us and he thinks the talk was about us? That's just really not good. In fact, that's quite bad. We won't be friends like we have been, and I was really enjoying that.
I just feel really overwhelmed this week. I've got a test tomorrow and one Friday. I'm not really on top of my homework as much as I should be. I'm trying to fit gym time into my busy schedule so I don't look like a cow for spring break, which is in just over a month. And all this relationship drama when I don't even have anything close to a boyfriend? I need to get myself together.
My life is a mess.
