Sorry about that the other day. And sorry for not updating you guys in a few days. I really haven't felt up to blogging. I guess I've been trying to work things out with myself first before I shared anything. I haven't resolved everything, and I still feel like I've got a lot going on, but I can at least share now.
Right now I'm at home. I hate being home sometimes. As much as I love my family and I miss them when I'm not with them, its getting harder and harder to come home. I love Wilmington, and I'm finally starting to truly establish myself there. But I came home for good reason, and you all will know that tomorrow!!! Well, technically today since its after midnight, but you know what I mean. Yes, I do mean that the surprise I've been holding off on will finally be revealed in a few hours! You have no idea how completely ecstatic I am to finally have this happen.
I've also got a few other things going on, however. I've been losing my voice over the past week. Yes, a whole week. It wasn't that bad at the beginning of last week, just a little scratchy. But by Thursday, I sounded like a frog. Then Sweta told me she had strep and possibly mono, so I got checked out at the Student Health Center on campus this morning before class. I had strep throat three times last school year, so I wasn't about to delay anything. Alas, I am not harboring that bacteria. But they didn't offer me any other possible solutions. So tomorrow morning my mom and I are going to the doctor to see if they can give me some kind of medicine to help. She thinks I have a simple sinus infection. I'm praying to God thats all it is. I finally got an email back from my director for Working, and he said we'll need to be familiarizing ourselves with the play and the songs, and given my current state I can't be singing right now. I have no clue when he's going to contact me and ask to run lines or rehearse songs. I can't sound like this, and I could permanently damage my throat if I push it. Which is so hard for me. I love singing. I sing all the time, everywhere I am.
Okay, now what you've (possibly) been waiting for. About Zuko. I haven't talked to him much since Saturday night, which just proves how uninterested he is. I'm definitely working to get over it. Which is silly that I even have to work at that, because I hardly know him yet. I still wish something will change his mind, but I don't see that happening. So it'll be fine. And I still want to be friends with him, which will be easy since we can already talk to each other and nothing actually happened between us. Plus he promised he'd teach me how to surf. Friends or more than, I WILL learn to surf this summer.
I think I get so wrapped up in my own head that I start expecting certain things to happen, so I'm extra disappointed and it hurts worse when they don't. I guess I just wear my heart on my sleeve a little more than I should. And as much as it hurts, I honestly don't always think that's a bad thing. I like feeling things deeply. I'd much rather feel too much than not at all. This is also why I'm not the 'hooking up' type. I get too attached too easily to let myself do that.
That's just who I am. All the men that decide to try and get with me will have to deal with that.
