This. Is. So. Hard.
Seriously, its getting harder and harder and HARDER to be with Bob. He's so great. But today was the second day in a row that he reminded me that he's not ready to date again and he's not over his ex.
It hurts all over again just typing that out.
I told him today that we need to slow down. I refuse to do anything with someone I'm not serious with. And he knows and respects that. (Another amazing thing about him. He respects me.)
I just need something to make him realize that I'm not going to wait forever. I'm available for any other guy out there. That's what I need is another guy. I need someone else to ask me out so Bob knows that he could lose me. Alex (my best friend in the whole world...in case I haven't mentioned her by name yet) says that could backfire. She's definitely right. But I just don't know what to do. One date with one other guy couldn't hurt, right?
One date. Thats all I need.
But what I really NEED is to study for this next round of tests coming up this week. Calculus and freshman seminar on Wednesday, theatre on Friday. If I keep making average grades, I'm going to die of mediocrity.
On another note, my dad told me exactly how my love life is going today. It was scary...my dad and I don't talk about things like that. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. He spent $90 on me today on a bike and a lock, and last week he spent $70 on me for groceries. And he doesn't have money to just throw around like that. I can talk to my dad about anything else in the world, but NOT boys. But he asked me why I need a boyfriend, and I said that I don't, I just like this guy. He said he is my boyfriend, and I said no he's not. Then my dad said, It doesn't matter if you call each other girlfriend and boyfriend, you guys are close and you kiss and he's your boyfriend.
I almost DIED.
He was exactly right. Why can't Bob see that?
