Now Playing: Sara Bareilles - Say You're Sorry
I hate when I stop blogging every day and have way too much to catch you guys up on. Well, not a WHOLE lot happened over break, but it was definitely fun. I went down to my grandma's in Florida on Monday with Anna. My grandma absolutely spoiled me. She paid for everything while I was there, took us out to eat every night, took me shopping, paid for a facial and a pedicure...I don't know what I'd do without her. I feel so relaxed now, like I could take on anything. Including the rest of this semester. As much as I don't want to be back in school yet, I will never get over how happy I am when I'm in Wilmington. And I just feel like I can finish this year with a real bang now.
In addition to all the goodies Grandma supplied, Anna and I went up to Gainesville (which is where UF, the Gators, reside) and went clubbing on Thursday night. We met a guy that worked at the Outback the night before while eating there with Grandma and we met up with him Thursday. He and his roommates were really nice. He was very complimentary as well. And one of his roommates was gorgeous. Anyway, Friday Anna and I met my wonderful cousin Madison and her friend in Clearwater Beach. It was breathtakingly gorgeous there. There was a bridge that curved around, connecting Clearwater the city to Clearwater Beach, and the view from the bridge was just something else entirely. Its gulf water there, so it was bright blue and peaceful. And it was such a beautiful day too. So we had a good couple of hours at the beach, then went back to Madison's house and picked up my other cousin Darian to go out to eat. I miss them so much, so I'm especially grateful I got to see them for a little while. So over all, my spring break was pretty amazing.
There's this guy. I used to practically be in love with him. For a really long time, in fact. We used to be best friends, but for some reason we never had the right timing. He would like me when I didn't feel the same, I would like him when he was trying to be with some other girl. We've never dated, we've never even kissed, but somehow he used to have this leash on me that, anytime I would pull away, he would push a little button and pull me right back to him. This went on for years, and I always thought that one day we'd actually both want to be with each other at the same time. But then I found out a lot of bad things about him, and I got really pissed off and told him not to talk to me again. I think that was mainly me being angry at the fact that we hadn't really tried to make anything work between us before, and I always had that hope that something would happen and it always ended up being crushed to pieces. That was the end of last school year. The next time I talked to him was two days after my birthday in December. By then I wasn't angry anymore, but I was scared to even have a conversation with him because I thought that leash was still tight around my neck. But I had one conversation with him in which he told me happy birthday, and it was pleasant, and it was over. His birthday was yesterday. And I knew that if I didn't tell him happy birthday, I'd feel like the biggest douche alive. So I text him and we had a really nice talk. He said he missed me, I said I miss us being best friends. Which I do, because he's so funny and we always make each other laugh. Then he said he wanted to see me when I got home (we were still on our way back at this point). I had to really think about it. Part of me wanted to see him too, but was that the leash? Or was that the nostalgic part of me that just missed him because he's, well, him? I decided to let him come see me. We ended up hanging out for a couple of hours, and it was really nice. And there's a chemistry between us that's hard to describe but has always been there. I don't think that will ever go away. But the best part is, when he text me a smiley face after dropping me off at my house and leaving, I didn't get that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I didn't feel happy because I thought "Yes! Its finally going to happen this time!" I felt happy because I finally realized that I'm over it. The leash is cut, and a huge weight has been lifted off my heart. I finally outgrew him. And that was the best gift he will ever give me. Complete closure.
I guess if anyone were to ask me if I have some epic love story, that would be the closest thing I've got. Which is odd, because seriously, we've never even kissed. Its just...the way he used to make me feel. Used to.
One last thing, my friend asked for a shout out in this post, so this one is for you, Chadford!
Anyway, The Walking Dead season finale comes on in ten, so I'm off. Peace and love. <3
